If you had to post your relationship status with yourself on Facebook, would you be able to happily say “in a relationship”, or would it be closer to, “it’s complicated”? If the latter, you likely have some work to do on nurturing your relationship with yourself.
It’s easy to focus on your relationships with others- your romantic partner, children, friends, and coworkers. But there’s another extremely important relationship that you might be neglecting. The longest and most important one of all: your relationship with yourself.
Our fast-paced modern lifestyles have likely taken a toll on your mental health. You are not alone! Maybe you feel tired, overwhelmed, and disconnected from both yourself and others. As a Positive Mental Health Coach, I understand how important being in tune with your innermost feelings and emotions is for becoming happier and more confident.
What are the Benefits of Nurturing the Relationship with Yourself?
We women tend to put the needs of others above our own. The truth is, you can’t show up fully in your relationships with others unless you have a strong relationship with yourself. The calmer, happier, and more balanced you are when it comes to your own mental and physical health, the more energy you have for others.
There’s a reason why during flights, they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first before trying to assist someone else with theirs. You won’t be much use to anyone else if you don’t take care of your immediate needs first.
In the same way, you must ensure that you take care of yourself. When you listen to what your true Self needs, it changes how you view yourself, others, and the world around you. It makes you more emotionally resilient and you find it easier to navigate the challenges life throws at you. So, how exactly do you nurture yourself?
How To Nurture Your Relationship with Yourself
Self-care is a term that you hear a lot, but it isn’t as simple as running off to the salon for a pedicure or massage occasionally. It is an ongoing need that you must build into your life on a regular basis.
You may worry that caring for yourself is selfish- but that couldn’t be further from the truth! As the fierce Audre Lorde said, “caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.”
Everyone’s definition of self-care is different depending on what brings you joy. Here are a few ways to start nourishing the Self.
Try out some of the following over the next week:
Make sure your basic needs are being met
Pay attention to your body and mood. At the very minimum, you need to maintain physical health. This means getting enough good quality sleep, eating nourishing food, regular physical activity, and enough rest.
Give yourself time and space to cultivate awareness of yourself
You may get so busy with your day-to-day tasks that you don’t get a chance to ask yourself how you’re doing until it’s too late and you are frustrated, anxious, or overwhelmed. That’s why it’s important to pause, and simply be aware of how you are feeling in that moment and what you need.
Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment so that you are aware of how your thoughts are creating your feelings and emotions in your body. Taking a bit of time out of your day, each day, to have a moment of stillness during which you simply get in touch with your feelings, is a powerful way to nurture yourself.
Pause, take a breath and then ask, how am I feeling?
Then take 5 slow breaths and then again check back in and ask, how am I feeling now?
Treat yourself with the same kindness that you extend to those you love
Are you investing as much time, energy, and love into yourself as you are into others? It’s easy to be overly critical of yourself. The social isolation due to the pandemic brought another layer of stress and anxiety into our lives. Try to be compassionate to yourself.
Try one or all of the following:
Take a minute to write down 3 things you are proud of about yourself
Write 3 things that you did well today
Write down 3 of your strengths
Write down 3 positive things people often say about you
Maintain healthy boundaries
As a caretaker, sometimes it’s hard to say no to those you love. Yet it’s important for your mental health to set boundaries. What are you saying yes to that is not serving your happiness? And, conversely, what have you been saying no to that you need? These can be two very powerful questions to ask yourself to help you decide what you need (and don’t need!) in your life. Ask:
What am I saying yes to that isn’t serving me today?
What am I saying no to that I need more of?
Take time to do activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul
Maybe you need more time to pursue a passion project. Or you’d like to spend more time outdoors in nature or on a hobby. It could be as simple as needing more sleep or eating more wholesome food. Self-care can be listening to your body when you’re tired, by allowing yourself to rest instead of having another cup of coffee and trying to push through it.
Yoga Retreats Are A Powerful Way to Nurture Yourself
Yoga, meditation and mindfulness help you cultivate the self-awareness you need to understand what your body and mind are saying to you so that it becomes clear what steps you need to take to be happier and healthier.
A retreat is an opportunity to heal, rebalance the nervous system, and be intentional about spending time nourishing the Self. At my upcoming yoga retreats, you will get reacquainted with your inner Self through mindful movement, breathwork, and meditation.
Imagine the joy of letting someone else take care of your basic needs- delicious meals prepared for you while you relax and reflect in a peaceful environment with no distractions. And of course a massage or two.
I will gently guide you through swadhayaya (self-study) via a series of practices that allow you to reflect and gain deeper insight into your values, purpose, and what brings you joy so that it becomes clear how to nurture your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.
Plus, you’ll learn valuable tools to keep the practice going in your daily life.
I hope you see why ‘me time’ is something to be celebrated, and that you take steps today to ensure you are nourishing that all-important relationship with yourself.
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